We Are All Called To Be Lifeguards

Today’s reading: 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

My father is mentally ill, and I have accepted the role of his caretaker.

Well, I say, “accepted,” but that’s not entirely what I mean. The position came to me gradually, by default, starting in about 2005.  That’s when I recognized that Dad was on a path to homelessness, jail or death, and I felt God’s call to steer him off that course.

No one else near dad was willing or able (mostly able) to understand the root of Dad’s often bizarre behavior and intervene for him in his dealings with The World.  So I waded in.

My first step was to sort through the financial mess he’d made, helping him create a budget, stick to it, and pay off thousands of dollars in debt.

Most of Dad’s debt was to doctors for treatments that we now know were mostly unnecessary — attributable to doctors not understanding his mental illness and therefore treating exaggerated or fabricated complaints. So the next step was to help Dad reduce his psychological dependence upon doctors and hospitals.

And that led to my managing his daily routine, assuring his house is safe, and taking full control of all his business matters.

I just kept wading and wading.

Now, some 8 years later, with no one else wading with me, I realize I’ve gone too deep.

Several doctors have taken strong note of my care for Dad and have told me they are certain I have, indeed, steered him from his deadly path. “Your father, I’m sure, would have already died were it not for you,” is how one physician put it.

“Keep it up!” he added. “Your Dad needs you!”

That’s a lot of pressure for one guy. I’m not always sure I’m up to it. I pray daily for help that, so far, has been slow to come.

One family member says she recognizes the great value of my service to Dad and has given me substantial financial support for years so that I may devote sufficient attention to him rather than worrying unduly over earning a living.

But that support is limited however. It does not cover all of my financial needs, and I must still do plenty of other work to make ends meet. And those ends barely do meet most months.

The short version of this story is this:  my family — and society in general — expects me to take grand care of my father — by myself — while also earning a good living at a “real job.”

And I simply do not know how to do that. I sometimes believe it’s not physically possible. (Though the very fact that I’ve been doing it all these years refutes that, I suppose.)

As I say, I’m in too deep. I’ve been frantically treading in these depths for some time now  — with Dear Ole’ Dad in tow.  And I can see no one willing to swim out to us. It’s as if Dad and I are alone in a dangerous ocean, waving desperately at ship after ship that coldly passes us by. Occasionally one of  these boats may stop to toss us some money, and sometimes the people on board will pause for a friendly chat and to wish us well. And these folks always make sure we know they’re praying for us. But then they sail on quickly, and Dad and I remain stranded and desperate.

I will likely take a bit of criticism for going public with this story here. So be it. Perhaps the critics will eventually decide to become the angels my father and I have been waiting for. I pray they will realize that’s a choice they can make at any time.

In the meantime, I remain eternally thankful for The Truth as proclaimed in today’s reading (and many other parts of The Bible).

“So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure,”

This experience of being all-but-ignored (even shunned a little) by The World as I care for my father has given me great inspiration. These days (in what little time I have between attending to Dad, doing “paid” work), I am building a non-profit group that will empower the other desperate folks Dad and I have seen out here in this ocean.  It’s been my great privileged to see that God has given these people (two of whom are soon to be roomies for my father) great talents that have gone unnoticed and certainly unappreciated by The World. And I now understand that it is my great, glorious duty to bring The World to its senses regarding these people.

The chief sense I speak of, of course, is love.

Jesus tells us that we are to love the least among us as we love ourselves. I take that to mean we’re all called to be heroic lifeguards for the precious souls we see treading water in the ocean depths. So that is what I encourage among all men. It is my great pleasure, and honor, to provide that service for my Dad.

Thanks be to God for the courage and strength that comes from loving a desperate soul. May I always feel His power in my work.