Stupidest Word Nominee: ‘Signage’

I’ve just stumbled upon the Facebook page of a buddy I haven’t seen in 30 years, when we were both running around our neighborhood doing what 12 year old’s do. I always figured Mike would end up as some sort of rebellious artist. Turns out he’s done pretty well at that. Next time I need some kind of graphic design, I’m going to look him up. His company is Titsworth Creative.

But, dang it, Mike! You design signs! Not signage.

Scroll down aways on Mike’s aforelinked page, and you’ll see a picture of a nice looking wall-menu he did for a taco joint in Austin.

Very cool.

Until you get to notice this: “check out the signage we did for them.”

Where the hell did this stupid word signage come from? Do people really believe “age” adds some important shade of meaning? Or are they just trying to sound smart?

I posed these questions to Mike, and he quickly referred me to an online dictionary that confirms the word is, definitely, an accepted English word. (Not good news. Dictionary editors have become much too lax of late. The world needs them to stand up for sanity more often. I recently saw OMG listed as a word in an online dictionary.)

“The graphics world plays by different rules,” he added.

Well, Mike, I see a lot of graphics people breaking this “signage” rule, even in the very names of their businesses. Right here in Corpus Christi, we have graphic design shops with sensible names like Premier Wraps & Signs, Signs Express, Innovative Signs, and Gallego Signs.  (Notice, I’m not linking to any of these places. I want ya’ll to patronize Mike. He deserves a little business out of the crap I’m giving him here.)

Now, I suppose, the staff at all those places may speak privately of signage instead of signs. But my gut tells me that the two words end up being mostly interchangeable in their work. There’s not really an industry rule requiring the use of signage, is there, Mike?

I’ve been seeing this silly word signage since at least 1999, when I was a small town reporter covering Lake Jackson, Texas’ new “signage ordinance.” In fact, I wrote about several municipal debates over “signage” in my reporter days. But I never used that word in my stories. I always found “signs” to be quite sufficient.

I only remember one complaint: a city council member in Leander, Texas, accused me, angrily, of a misquote. I had to agree with him that he had very clearly used the word “signage” in his talk with me, but, somehow,  it had come out in print as “sign.” (Hmmmm. Was that an accident? A consultation with Sigmund Freud might be in order.)

I asked my editor if the mistake warranted a correction in the next edition.

He laughed.  So did I. We both looked up at the Budweiser signs, and ordered a beer.

Everyone who writes should pull out the classic book “On Writing Well, by William Zinser” at least once a year. (Yes, I get a little commission if you order it through that link.) Chapter 3 begins with a particularly relevant paragraph I’ve quoted to a bureaucrat or two upon encountering stupid words like signage.

“Fighting clutter is like fighting weeds — the writer is always slightly behind. New varieties sprout overnight, and by noon they are part of American speech. Consider what President Nixon’s aide John Dean accomplished in just one day of testimony on television during the Watergate hearings. The next day everyone in America was saying “at this point in time” instead of “now.” (Actually, I believe the phrase is still heard as “at this particular point in time.”)

And, today, when you type in the word “sign” into a search engine, you will find links to several well known department stores trying to sell you “signage signs.”

Geez.